Macklemore's Heist to Claim the World

I have been to very few concerts in my lifetime. When I was younger, I went with my mother to jam out with Kool and the Gang at a public concert they held somewhere in Texas. When I was in the sixth grade, my school surprised me by taking me out to see Lil' Romeo perform (I was a Lil' Bow Wow fan, but a cute guy is a cute guy). Boyz II Men even came to my college campus my freshman year to take us back and kick off their 2011 reunion tour.

All of these were fun concerts to go to, but I don't consider any of them my 'legitimate' first concert because I didn't pay for a ticket out of my own hard-owned cash. The first concert I ever paid for was... not Macklemore, even though this post is titled after him. It was actually for Bruno Mars and his Moonshine Jungle Tour. I did not have a blog post for his concert, but I did write an article on Spotify about my experience, which you can read here. Let's just say my Gorilla Man set the bar when it comes to live performances, and Macklemore certainly rose to the occasion.

On November 6, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis made a stop in my city for The Heist Tour, which had them performing their biggest hits and their realest singles off their album, The Heist. I will admit that before "Thrift Shop" came out, I wasn't aware of Macklemore. Matter of fact, I believe I was introduced to the song thanks to a Kids or Teens React episode on TheFineBros' YouTube channel. I looked up the song, loved the video and moved on. I didn't really look at Macklemore after that until "Same Love" was released. Identifying as SBNN (Straight but Not Narrow) and a HUGE supporter of Gay rights, I IMMEDIATELY became a Macklemore fan.

Macklemore completely blows my mind away because he is the first rapper I've ever listened to who addresses gay rights and never uses 'gay' or 'faggot' as an insult. To be quite honest, I wasn't a huge fan of rap because of the blatant homophobia that comes across in many rap songs today. I used to be a big supporter of Eminem, and while it's no question that the man is phenomenal when it comes to the art, I had to distance myself from him because of certain homophobic slurs he uses in his lyrics. Sure, they may not be slurs as he says they are, but if it makes me uncomfortable to listen to, then I'm going have to let it go. With Macklemore, I don't ever see that happening. His two albums really address issues that so many demographics can relate to, and I have not witnessed any prejudices or hateful lyrics while listening to his work.

I love Macklemore because he seems like one of the few artists who can correctly be labeled 'activist' and not be afraid to challenge some of the paradigms of society. He gives me hope that his music will touch the ears of the new generation and that they won't make the same mistakes that Generation Y made and the Millennials continue to make. "Same Love", "Starting Over", and "A Wake" on The Heist are easily my favorite songs of his because they carry messages that resound so closely to who I am and what I value as a person: equality, acceptance and love.

During his concert, I had so much fun. I was lucky enough to be right in front and it was obvious Macklemore was having as much fun as I was. Ryan Lewis may have been in the back being all inconspicuous, but his skill left my heart beating rapidly to the sound of his beats.

I really had a lot of fun at this concert. It really was on par with Bruno's back in July (and if y'all didn't already know, I am a HUGE Bruno Mars' fan, so this comparison means Macklemore seriously impressed) and I'm just as much a part of the #SharkFaceGang as I am Team #Hooligan. I laughed, I cried, I danced and I sang; the night was beautiful and Macklemore truly knows how to party.

I know a lot of people may still be sleeping on this lyrical duo (only ~6,000 people attended), but I really encourage you to look them up on YouTube (Not just "Thrift Shop" or "Can't Hold Us"... I'm talking their entire album) and just become familiar with him. He's not like other rappers, which is precisely why I love him so much. He has something real to say and it's worth listening to.

Slowly but surely, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are on their way to stealing the hearts of the world as they spread love, peace and music. Come their next tour, every city booked will be sold out and I'll be there to tell you that I told you so. If you want to dance and have a really, really, really good time, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis are the way to go.

Signing off,

DesieDeep ♥

An Open Love Letter

I see you there, standing on the other side of the field. I recognize your face, my heart remembering the erratic rhythm it made when I talked to you. Oh, how I yearn to see you smile, just once more for me. I miss your teasing, your eye-rolling, your soft chastises. The advice you'd give to me on the rare occurrences I couldn't see the solutions to my problems, I miss that. I miss just hanging out and having you near.

There you are, standing so far from me on the other side of the field. Surrounded by new friends, your old friends disappearing from your thoughts and your heart. But you're still with me, in my thoughts and dreams, even when I need to let you go. But still, I'm such a coward. Even though you're right over there, enjoying life, I can't lift my feet to walk the short distance and say, "Hi. How are you?" We haven't hung out in months. We haven't laughed and teased each other since that final day when we parted ways. I chose my path and you continued along yours. It's selfish of me to think that those paths can ever intertwine again. Fate brought us together, but I tore us apart. The time that I put between us is as steep as the distance it seems between me and you, on the other side of the field.

A lone tear falls from my eye as I continue to watch you. And then, I catch sight of it. I see you smile. It was so breathtakingly beautiful and I wanted it to be for me. But it's okay. I was able to see your smile, so now I can smile. I can move on.

Or do you want me to? That's what I believe you were trying to tell me when you suddenly looked away from your friends and looked across the field, right at me. Our eyes locked on each other and with a smile, you nodded. I smiled again and nodded back. I then turned and walked away, the distance growing with each step.

Maybe you don't need me in your life anymore. Maybe in your mind, I'll only be an afterthought. But it's okay. We may not be as close as we used to be, but that doesn't mean I've gone away. Whether you know it or not, I'll always be here. Watching. Caring. Loving...

*~*~*

I wrote this a while back- January of this year. I wrote it for someone that I held feelings for, even though I was afraid to admit it to myself.

I didn't want to love him; it just happened. And I didn't want to see him again; now he lives down the street. It's painful to hold feelings for someone and not have the opportunity to just spit it out and try to take a step forward.

Yes, these feelings are real. No, I don't know what to do with them. Confessing seems like the quickest and easiest way to get over the constant thoughts and dreams I have, but it's never as easy as it sounds. No, not when my heart lurches every time he's around. Not when my face burns every time he looks at me, or how I lose the words at the tip of my tongue when he talks to me.

These feelings are new, scary, confusing. I want him to be a friend... at least, that's what I tell myself. My heart, on the other hand, wants to know if I have what it takes to let him know that I might just want something more. But what's a girl to do when she's facing her own insecurities?

Once upon a time I would've been cool with being just friends. But then my friends happened. Friends that wanted me to be assertive for once in my life. Friends that encouraged me to go after what I wanted. Friends that just wanted to see me happy.

I love my friends and everyday I'm slowly building the confidence. One day I'll tell him. I just hope it's sooner rather than later. That way, if nothing happens, I can move on to find someone that truly wants to love me back.

Heh... I'm probably tattling on myself with this post. I doubt he reads my blog, but you never know. He might even figure it out. If that happens, then I'm okay with that. I've always been better at expressing my feelings through my writing rather than my words, anyway. So, if you are reading this, you know the truth.

You know why I text you about the most random topics. How I invite you out in hopes of getting you alone and letting you know how I feel. How I seem to look everywhere but at you when you're in my presence. The mask I usually wear has been fitted to hide these dangerous emotions, but every conversation with you seems to leave a crack, allowing these emotions to slowly seep out and expose themselves to you. 

Maybe one day, you'll see me for me. Maybe one day, you'll love what you see. All I know is that I don't want to lose you. You're one of the few people I've encountered in my life who can stimulate my mind on many topics other people aren't interested in. You make me laugh, you get me flustered. And for the few short hours I'm with you, I feel special. Because you're such a good host...

So, I guess we could consider this an open love letter. Names are withheld to protect the innocent, but my fingers can no longer conceal the words of my innocent heart. It's all out in the open. And it would be all worth it if it stops the constant barrage of daydreams and fantasies I have.

I'm a dreamer. There's no doubt about that. But like all my other dreams, I hope to turn this one into reality. I don't need you/him to reciprocate my feelings. I just need a chance to say, "I like you." Give me that much and I'll be happy. This happening would allow me the chance to realize that I have the confidence to chase after what I want, and not even my own insecurities can hold me back. 

Just give me that, and I'll be forever grateful. And I'll be able to move forward. So even if you're still standing on the other side of that field, my heart will keep you right beside me as I courageously step out into the world and find my other half, whether it's you or someone else.

My confession to you is currently pending. Wait for me... 

Love,

DesieDeep ♥

DesieSlam: Love Lessons

What will it take to make you mine?
We have this chemistry that I can't quite pick out on the periodic table
Rearrange its formula so that love bursts out and contaminates us both
Overdose on hormonal reactions that shake us to the core
Sending our atoms into a frenzy as we ride on each other's energy
Quickly charging ourselves on these feelings that are foreign
Yet familiar enough so that our body doesn't put up a defense
Sending out T cells and fighting off this budding romance of ours
So that it can grow into something beautiful


Why can't I solve the problem of you seeing me?
Do I have to add to my looks with make-up and short skirts
Multiplying the curve of my breast with a busty push-up bra
Or do I have to subtract flaws for you to see me
Getting rid of facial marks and body fat
By dividing the amount of food I eat with the hopes of you appreciating my beauty
Instead of 1+1 I think Me+You with the chance that the answer is 3 as I envision our future family
I'm counting the days until I'm in your arms and you drop to one knee to ask, "Marry me"
What is the answer to your desires and preferences
Must I look to your eX to see if I could ever be your Y
Forever seeking the missing link that will balance out my love for you


Your mind is a riddle with an incredible twist that I have yet to decipher
Tongue-twisted as your name becomes a tongue twister on my lips
Stuttering as I look at you and you look at me
Trying to crack the code that protects your inner feelings
Desperately wanting to solve the mystery that is you
You're an intrigue to my inquisitive mind
So tell me you have some time to sit down with me
Let me examine you and probe you for the sparks of passion hidden within your eyes
Tear down the barrier that keeps me away from you
You should know that I adore you and I want to treasure you
A national treasure to the country of Me
Liberate yourself and set yourself free
Free to be with me, free to love me
And free to be mine

DesieSlam: Heartbreak

Once upon a time I experienced my first heartbreak

The pain I wasn't prepared for as my body trembled on the floor

Tears running down my face as I watched him walk out the door

I felt like I was literally broken, so I couldn't return to the store

And get a new heart, a heart that was still in the package and in mint condition

For you see, heartbreak is more like a disease that destroyed my lungs so that I couldn't breathe

My desperate cries getting caught in my throat as the other woman left behind him, wearing his coat

The coat that I bought him for our third anniversary

A time when I thought I had found a love that was legendary

And the man who vowed to be mine could never hurt me

But that's not how the story ends

Instead, my man left me with my chest ripped open

My hands creeping up to my face as my mind raced,

Wondering what the hell did I do to deserve this pain, this pain that stabs like a knife through my back

Like seriously, man, why'd you go and play me like that

Me, the woman who held you down and had your back

A woman who showed you nothing but love and devotion

A woman who was now crying a river filled with all her emotions

Pain, hate, distress, as I sat there depressed

But underneath it all, I still had love for you,

And that's what hurt the most

To love a man that clearly didn't love me

Otherwise I wouldn't be here, alone and lonely

Heartbreak sho ain't easy when your head aches and your stomach's queasy

And just when the man you thought was your world takes away your very essence

Your mind decides to show you in your darkest time the reasons why you even let him into your presence

The reasons why you allowed your soul to dance with his and dream of a life as his wife with your kids

The good memories only intensify your pain until you crumble under the ache and feel your heart break

Yeah, I remember that

And I told myself I'd never feel that again

So I muted my thoughts and pushed pause on my heart

And put up a cement wall with barbed wire at the top so I could keep myself apart

From the men that could've came my way and showed me that it's okay

To love again

But I had to do it, for the sanity of my mind, heart and spirit

Because a heartbreak can put people into critical condition and not even a doctor can fix the damage

Only time can do that, so I gave myself the time I needed to stop feeling like us and more like me

An independent woman with the sanity of my mind, heart and spirit

So slowly but surely, I began to heal

Flexing my fingers to make sure I could feel

Taking my first steps forward so that I couldn't go back

Opening my eyes and ears to remind myself that a life without you is not just a dream, but fact

So concrete that I removed the wires around my heart, but kept that wall up

Guarding it like a watchdog so that nobody could break in and take a heart still raw

Still bruised but beating with life and an inkling of love

A love that I still wanted to have but I was going to take my time this time

Live my life this time, find my groove this time

And prove that a man can need me in a way that I won't need him

I'll be my own rock to hold onto, my own shoulder to cry on

So if my heart were to break again, I wouldn't feel so broken and alone

Once upon a time, I experienced my first heartbreak

A pain so raw it took my breath away

A cut so deep that my love bled out

So I pressed pause on my heart and made a vow

That I wouldn't press play until I met the man that could show me how

To love again

Anecdote on Racism

"Have you ever experienced racism?"

This has always been a hard question for me to answer because I can't recall a time where someone got directly into my face and proceeded to tear me down with racial bigotry. I was born in Virginia in probably the whitest city in that state. I lived in a house on a hill/mountain somewhere where my closest neighbors' house was across the street and hidden behind tall trees. The first elementary school I attended was mostly (if not all) white and I remember being really nervous on my first day. Not because I thought they were going to hate me because of the color of my skin. I was nervous because I thought nobody would like me because I was too quiet or not fun enough. At that time, I wasn't thinking about race at all. Yes, I knew the color of my skin was different from theirs, but that's it. No racial connotation clouded my thoughts.

Why yes, I hated naps, too. (Now? Not so much...)

Fast forward to Texas. I'm in first grade at a school where the school body is more diverse: white, latino and black students littered the halls and could be found in my classroom. I had a male teacher that was absolutely great. He passed out candy to all the students who participated and did well in his class. I can't recall if it was the first or second day of his class, but I get called up to the front of the class and handed a yard stick. I'm asked to read a sentence off of a giant notepad (just like all of the other students). I read the sentence and hand the yard stick back to my teacher. As soon as I'm done, ooohs and ahhhs came from the mouths of my peers and my teacher was just AMAZED. Why? Because I read the sentence quickly with no problem at all. The students before me read the words slower and took longer to pronounce the words correctly. I got loads of candy that day for reading a sentence. Looking back, I was proud of myself because either Virginia has a faster learning rate or all the reading I did when I was younger really paid off. I never really considered that maybe all the fuss I had received from reading a sentence was because a young black girl knew how to read so well. I had a white teacher and he taught a class of urban kids, so maybe I was his first black pupil that seemed to catch on so well. Who knows? That's a question I won't ever have the answer to.

No matter who it's coming from.

Fast forward to adolescence. I went to a middle school in a suburb populated mostly by blacks and latinos. This is when I first heard one of my black peers call another of my black peers a 'nigga'. I knew this word from my history courses, but I never thought that I would actually witness a black person saying this to another black person. But it happened and it hasn't stopped. I loathe that word. I was a pretty quiet girl, but I made sure to let everyone know that if they were going to bother calling me that word, then they didn't need to speak to me at all. Resentment began to grow in my heart for my own race (for the first time ever) because how DARE they take a word that was used to subjugate, demean and terrorize our ancestors not even 200 years ago and try and flip it into a word of camaraderie. Screw that. This isn't a word we should try or WANT to 'reclaim.' It should've been a word that got buried in the English dictionary after the Civil War was won. We didn't HAVE to keep that word, a word that originally was used to describe an ignorant person. So when you're 'reclaiming' that word, what you're really doing is calling your friend, brother, sister ignorant. So I don't care what color you are, you call me 'nigger/nigga' and it's over.


Fast forward to high school. I was back at a prestigious public school where I was studying Business Management. My schedule was too busy for any extracurriculars (even though the school didn't have sports, so it didn't really matter), so I went home every night. Sometimes, I would even ride out with my mom to her job. I have a mother who has always worked industrial jobs. She didn't go to college, but she wants to take classes someday. At these jobs, she had to work with people from very different backgrounds. I love my mother and I understand the life she's had to lead, so at one time I didn't care about my mother's prejudice against Latino workers. I used to be one of 'those' that thought illegal immigrants shouldn't be allowed to cross the border (please remember I was living in Texas at this time). They were 'stealing' away the jobs my mom tried so hard to find, so my mother's enemy was my own enemy. My mother (after working with them for years) thought Latinos were lazy and didn't really come to work to actually work. She said she saw them steal, lie and 'gang up' on people who didn't look like them or speak their language. For a time, I believed her. But then I was revisited by words from Dr. King and Malcolm X and I realized that I was being prejudice against a group of people all because my mother worked with certain individuals that weren't exactly agreeable. I realized I was being racist against Latinos and that knowledge hit me HARD. Why was I doing that? I was doing to Latinos what Americans did to my ancestors decades ago. I wasn't any better and I was ignorant, and I LOATHE ignorance. From listening to my mother I realized my mistakes and I haven't done it since. I can only hope that my mom will recognize her mistakes and prejudices as well.

This is NOT what I meant.

Fast forward to present day. As I said in the beginning, I can't really say if I've ever had racism directed towards me. Indirectly? Maybe, but I've been blind to it. Something my mother always got on me about when I was younger was looking down while I walked. I didn't see the problem. I could see the ground below me, so I wouldn't have to worry about ever tripping. That's a good thing, right? Of course, up until you run into that wall that wasn't there before because you refused to look up. Was my downcast gaze a learned behavior? Maybe. I didn't like looking into people's eyes. Besides pleasantries, I was silent whenever I met someone new and to this day, I pitch my voice two octaves higher when speaking to someone I don't really know. I'm short, I look four years younger than I really am (someone just remarked I look like I was 16 a few days ago). Add all of this up, and what do you have? A very submissive person. No, a very submissive black woman. Somehow throughout my years, I conditioned myself to be/appear nonthreatening. That's why I've never been in a fight or had a run-in with the police. How did I get this way? Learning? Listening to my mom? Always being polite to my elders? All of these ethics instilled in me created a woman that elicits no 'danger'. Even when I walk around in stores, I have yet to feel that haunting presence of someone keeping an eye on me, watching my every move. Maybe I'm oblivious to their antics (my mom certainly isn't. She always calls them out when we go shopping together). Or maybe I just refuse to believe that someone would be racist against me. Me? Little ole' me who'd never hurt a fly? Why, that just can't BE! But then I realize that 'Ignorance is bliss', so I better start paying attention before someone calls me 'ignorant', or worse, 'nigger'. After all, they mean the same thing, right?

These categories won't solve anything, people.

The issue of racism continues to rear its ugly head in this country, but we get people on being 'politically correct' so much that the issue is never officially addressed. That is why Trayvon Martin is such an important topic, why people can't seem to stop talking about him. We can't stop because we won't. Same goes for people who'd prefer to be called Black Americans than African Americans (last I checked, I wasn't born in an African country and given American citizenship. I'm American, born and raised, and I just so happen to be black). It's 2013 and the time is now to truly figure out what to do about this problem that is more evident in these United States than probably any other country. Why? Because this country was born, built and raised on racism. Racism is so ingrained into the fabric of this Union that I wouldn't be surprised if the whole quilt fell apart if we tried to extract it. But that's okay, because we can sew it back together with what SHOULD be the backbone of this nation: Love and acceptance.

High-Profile Black Actors Pay Tribute to Trayvon Martin: "Little Black B...

A moving and startling tribute to the late Trayvon Martin, entitled "Little Black Boy Wonder." Actors Omari Hardwick, Marlon Wayans, Affion Crockett, Wesley Jonathan and more pay tribute to the slain teenager.

A poem so beautiful, it brought tears to my weary eyes. Rest in peace, Travyon. We'll never forget.

Go @VictorianPrude!

One of the highlights at the Texas Senate last night, thank you @VictorianPrude! This was absolutely amazing to watch and this needs to happen more often. Put these legislators in their place! Stand with Texas Women and defeat SB1!