I will start this blog by saying that this is in no way racist. These are just the thoughts and feelings I've been having lately and I hope that one day these thoughts and feelings will be proven wrong.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's get to what I've been wanting to express my feelings about for a while now. One passion that I've had for some time now is learning more about Asian culture, the Japanese culture to be specific. I read manga, watch anime, and watch Japanese videos. Do I believe that this is a good representation of the country? Of course not. I've picked up a few sayings and learned about key cities, but I wouldn't say I'm an expert on Japanese culture. I would have to travel to Japan in order to be that well informed. What I'm saying is that these things that I enjoy so much make me want to learn more about this foreign culture that is so different yet so familiar to me. Over time, I've even dreamed about one day having the opportunity to date someone of Asian descent, and the idea looks better and better to me with each passing day. The thing is, I am afraid that could never happen for me. Why? Because of my skin color. I fear that the option of even dating an Asian is out of the question for me simply because I'm Black.
I'm not saying that a Black and Asian couple has never happened in life before. Of course not. It's just that this pairing is one of the rarest you'll see. From my experience, these two cultures almost never cross paths. All of my Black friends date other blacks and all of my Asian friends date other Asians. Sometimes they might date someone who is white or Hispanic, but I've never seen a Black friend with an Asian friend. This saddens me because that might mean I may never have a chance to date an Asian, even though I'm very open to the idea. I'm open to the idea of dating men from every race, but the fact that my chances with dating an Asian are slim really have me in a downer.
Something that bothers me a lot is that where I am at now and where I go to school, I see Asians all around. I want to hang out with them, I want to get to know them. And if there's a guy I like, I want to feel free to date him. However, I just feel like an outsider who is trying to push her way into the elite in-crowd. I get nervous when I get around them. I smile with hopes that they might return that smile, but because I'm such an introvert, I can't seem to allow myself the luxury of knocking them off the pedestal I made for them and just talking to them like normal people. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I'm the reason I may not ever have the opportunity to date an Asian who I like and who possibly likes me. I mean, how can they like me if they don't know me? But then again, what if it's more than just me not being able to go up and talk to them? What if the color of my skin really is a barrier that keeps Asian men I like off their radar? Just like how a lot of Blacks condemn those who date outside of their race, Asians do the same thing. That would mean that I may not be as free as I think I am to date whom I please.
Like I've said, these have been my thoughts and feelings for some time now. Maybe I'm completely wrong or way off in my assessment and I truly hope this is the case. If there are any Black and Asian couples out there, I tip my hat to you. I also ask you: how did you find each other? How were you able to break through the barriers that surround our two cultures? What advice could you give to someone like me who is hesitant on what they should do to break the ice?
It's a sad reality that this coupling isn't more commonplace in 2012 (soon to be 2013). But my growing affection and affinity for Asians and their culture is something that can't be stopped and I must explore. I am offering up questions, so hopefully you can provide me with answers. Thank you for reading and I will be checking back in soon.
No matter what, keep your dreams alive.
Signing off,
DesieDeep
No comments:
Post a Comment